June 13, 2004

Galatians 2:15-21

Luke 7:36-8:3

“Start Where You Are”

Pastor Elizabeth Macaulay

We hear this morning the story of a sinful woman forgiven.

All four gospels have an account of a woman anointing the feet of Jesus.

In Luke’s gospel there are some unique things about this woman and her act of devotion.

The oil she uses along with her tears to bathe the feet of Jesus is not of the finest quality, as it is in other gospel accounts. This woman is perhaps poor.

And she is known by a label she carries with her always.

She is known as a sinner.

She, whom some commentators speculate to be a woman who made her living through the sharing of her body. This woman considered to be unclean by Jewish law enters the home of a religious elite – a Pharisee named Simon – and kneels at the feet of Jesus. Behind him, in the dust of the floor and in the full sight of those whose judgment she has been bowed under for so long. She bathed the dust off Jesus’ feet using her tears and her hair and her hope and her belief and her humanity.

Dear God, the courage it took for her to know herself to be more than a sinner.

Dear God, the courage it took to allow the forgiveness of Jesus to set her free.

Hear now the gospel lesson.

Even though in our appointment system it may seem like ministers appear on the doorsteps of United Methodist churches without a whole lot of behind the scenes discernment and talking, that is not how it works. The matchmaking process is prayer filled and intentional.

When I talked with Kathi Mahle, our District Superintendent, and with the Staff Parish Relations committee of this church to see whether or not we were a good match for each other, we talked about many things. I tried to express what I felt called to be as a minister. As your minister.

I didn’t think of it then, but in considering this text this morning and my growing sense of my call, maybe the phrase that would have best summed it up is this:

I want to serve a church of sinners.

As a woman who knows herself to be a sinner, I want to be in the company of others who know and own their places of ache and brokenness, and I want to be living into how it is we claim the forgiveness and healing that Jesus offers to us each.

Do you know what I am saying? I don’t want to serve a congregation of religious elite like Simon.

I want to serve in a community where all know well that they are welcome in this place – perhaps most especially if they know the places of brokenness in life we call sin. Seven hundred years ago Meister Eckhart put it this way. He said, ‘to get to the core of God at his greatest, one must first get into the core of one’s self at his least.”

Such core work of owning our “leastness” takes courage, honesty, humility, compassion, and community.

The name of this sermon is taken from the title of a book written by Buddhist nun Pema Chodrun. I enjoy her work greatly. To heal and to grow into fullness of life she says this:

“Start where you are. This is very important. (Spiritual practices) are not about later, when you get it all together and you’re the person you really respect. You may be the most violent person in the world – that’s a fine place to start. That’s a very rich place to start – juicy, smelly. You might be the most depressed person in the world, the most addicted person in the world, the most jealous person in the world. You might think that there are no others on the planet who hate themselves as much as you do. All of that is a good place to start. Just where you are – that’s the place to start.” (Start Where you Are, 34.)

What happens to us all too often is that we treat ourselves with so little compassion. We are so ashamed of where we are.

We know that where we are is so far from where we want to be. In the honesty of our souls we know our sin and brokenness. Rather than acknowledge where we are and the forgiveness that is ours for the asking, we often are overwhelmed with shame. We feel like we need to make ourselves small, and we make moves to pull into ourselves by withdrawing from our world and from God. Our shame stunts us and for sure we feel like people – if they only knew who we REALLY were – would politely ask us to leave.

This past spring I had the chance to learn from a Benedictine nun. The teachings she shared were on the wisdom of the desert fathers and mothers on what we know as the deadly sins, or afflictions.

Afflictions are things that keep us diverted from grounding ourselves in Christ. The afflictions are food, sex, anger, things, dejection, aecidia, pride and vainglory.

Well, we began with food and moved onto sex.

Of course, we Protestants wanted to know about this business of celibacy. She talked honestly about the discipline of celibacy: its challenges and rewards. She was open to questions from the group of clergywomen who were there for the conference. As Protestants, we have been taught to view celibacy, not as a spiritual discipline, but as an affliction in itself. We had some learning to do about that.

Too, as people who read the newspaper, everyone in the room knew of the struggles unfolding in the Catholic Church regarding celibacy among religious. The same struggles unfold across the world and across faith lines. The issue of how it is we live our sexuality is a struggle for all of humanity, whether we are single, celibate, married or monastic. It seems that particularly in the Christian church, we struggle so about the gift of sexuality and the call to live it in wholesome and life enriching ways.

So, we talked about sex.

The question was asked, “What happens to people who break their vows” Not in ways that abuse others, but in the ways of acting out sexual communion with another. How does the community handle that sin?”

At this Sister Margaret paused and spoke with such conviction and depth.

“In such times, when a community member is known to be struggling with the agony of having broken vows.

In such a time, particularly at such a time, it is imperative that they know that the table of grace is open to them – perhaps most especially to them.

In such a time, when the burden of brokenness is so very heavy, the yoke of knowing sin is to be made easy by the welcome into community.”

No Pharisee, no tribal gatekeeper, no Simon is to keep the broken from kneeling at the feet of grace.

Do you know the ways of being broken? Have you felt the in-drawing shrink of shame?

What this woman known as sinner has to teach us is that we are the ones – we flawed and flailing and imperfect and redeemed.

We are the ones.

We are the ones called to pay attention to our broken places and bring them before God.

The twelve step recovery program calls this the first step we must make as we turn toward healing.

We start where we are: over eaters, over drinkers, over doers, over critical, over fearful, overwhelmed.

We are the ones called to pry open the places of shame and claim the courage it takes to be open to the love and forgiveness of God.

We start where we are, knowing that we are enough.

And God. God is enough.

O, let us believe it! Amen.